The Mistresses

So, I happened to be exposed to this show after The Bachelorette when I forgot to turn off my television. For the record, TVZombie watches any moving picture on the television (including interesting reflections) so one must always turn off the television and drape a blanket over it, if the zombie is to go to sleep, read a book, go for a run, eat, anything not involving television, etc.

....And of course, with the television watching comes the blogging. What can I say?

Apparently people like this show, including my mother and my sister. So far, it looks like a poor man's version of Lipstick Jungle (cancelled in 2009) which is a poor man's Sex and the City (which will cancel when Sarah Jessica Parker dies, probably)--I keep expecting never to see Sex and the City ever again and then they put out a shitty movie.

Some hot Australian dude is talking to some girl in a man's buttoned down, but these two people aren't interested in each other? Apparently, that's his wife's sister. I totally see the two of them having a sex-thing in the future.

Alyssa Milano, Australian's wife, looks frumpy. Despite this, she cheated on her husband with Jason George. I'm sure this show would be more enjoyable if I knew the names of the characters. Why don't people call each other by their names?!?!?!

Poor Rochelle Aytes, I think her husband is cheating on her with a white woman:

Alyssa sees this as the right moment to tell her that she, too, is a big fat cheater. Rochelle is not pleased.

We ain't friends anymore.

Oh shit, now Rochelle is stalking the mistress AND her half black baby. Now, she feels bad about it. Regardless, Rochelle is too beautiful to be a stalker.

"Why would you cheat on me, boo?"

I'm 25 minutes into this show and for the first time I'm bored of television. Will I stop watching it? No. Will I stop blogging? Fuck no.

I know. 

I know.

Oh! Alyssa Milano's character's name is Savannah! I got one name! Yay! Savannah's the hoe!

Asian-ho, third female protagonist (I'm sorry I don't know your name, ho) is apparently having a fling with a 20-something year old? Well, more like the 20-something is in love with her and super intense and creepy about it. He gave her a trophy? Does this mean something? This is dumb.

OH, Alyssa Milano's sister is a lesbian (oddly enough, she doesn't look like Justin Beiber. Weird). Now she's having a weird bondage thing with the lesbian (in a relationship) that she is showing a random house to. No sex, they're just "playing" with the japanese bondage rope....

I don't wanna watch your weird bondage play!

Oh, apparently, Asian-ho is actress Yunjin Kim, born November 7, 1973 in Seoul, South Korea. I looked her up on imdb because I felt bad. I guess I could have also looked up the character's names while I was at it. Oh well..

Uh oh! I think Kim euthanized someone. Ali G once had the hilarious slip that euthanasia was "youths in asia" (back in 2008, when he was funny and relevant).

Borat killed me. :(

Oh, so Alyssa Milano's sister isn't a lesbian because she's tying some dude up with the japanese bondage ropes in her lingerie.

OK, the show ends with a revelation from Kim and Rochelle and Alyssa is pregnant (even though she and Harry, the Australian, have decided not to have a baby) and she couldn't tell her husband that she had an affair.

Okay, that was dumb. Now to turn off my television and get the old blanket out. I'll attempt to not watch television for the rest of the night.