Saturday Trash

Apparently Chris Brown and Rihanna broke up "officially" yesterday. Then again, they'll probably get back together next week. As if people will start caring.

Trash.

Trash.

I wanna give some props to Miley Cyrus. I honestly think she's got a good heart. And she is finally ALMOST a real person--a whole lot of hot mess--but ALMOST a real person. Welcome to your 20s, Miley. From "I don't know any Jay-Z songs" to becoming the "crazy white bitch" mascot of all black men.

"I'm hood, right??!?!"

I'm sure in a couple of years, our generation of 20-somethings will think you're cool and want to honestly hang out with you. I'm glad you're not turning into Taylor Swift.

Fuck Taylor Swift.

Paris Jackson, please don't try to kill yourself anymore. I don't know why you cut yourself or if you were being bullied or if you just wanted to go to a Marilyn Manson concert. All I know is that I'd prefer it if you were alive, since quietly, I'm a big fan. And of course, your family loves you and all that shit. But mostly because I find you charming and you remind me of all the best of Michael Jackson wrapped up in a quirky package.

It's like Zooey Deschanel 2.0

Next, it's time for my favorite topic...

Beyoncé

Can I get a hot tub?

"Mmm, sweet child." Bliss.

That is all.